There is something I’ve learned about changing your life that took me a long time to understand: sometimes the thing standing between you and the life you want isn’t a lack of opportunity. Sometimes it’s simply that you keep waiting to take the first step.I’m not saying that because I’ve always been good at taking action. Quite the opposite. A lot of my life was spent making decisions that moved me in the wrong direction. I made poor choices when I was young, and those choices eventually led me into a situation where I lost 24 years of my life to prison.When you spend that much time looking back at your life, you learn some things about time that you can’t easily explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it. You realize that days turn into months, months turn into years, and before you know it, an enormous portion of your life has passed.That’s one reason I look at procrastination differently today.I don’t see it as something small anymore.When you continually put off the things you know you need to do, you’re not just postponing a task. You’re postponing the person you’re capable of becoming.And I’ve already given enough days away.I don’t want to give any more away.
Stop Looking at Everyone Else’s Life
One of the things that can make procrastination even worse is an inferiority complex. When you don’t feel like you’re good enough, successful enough, educated enough, financially secure enough, or far enough along in life, it’s easy to convince yourself that there’s no point in trying.You look around and see somebody who has more than you. Maybe they have a better career, a nicer house, more money, a successful business, a better body, more followers, or opportunities that you wish you had.Then you look at yourself and start thinking, “I’m nowhere near where that person is.”I’ve had to learn not to live that way.Coming home after 24 years in prison could have given me plenty of reasons to compare myself to other people. There were people who had spent those same years building careers, buying homes, raising families, developing businesses, traveling, and creating lives while I was incarcerated.I could have come home and spent all my time thinking about everything I missed.I could have looked at somebody else’s progress and decided that I was too far behind to catch up.But what would that have accomplished?Nothing.It wouldn’t have given me those 24 years back. It wouldn’t have improved my situation. It wouldn’t have built my future. It would have simply taken more time away from me.So I had to change the question.Instead of asking, “Why am I not where they are?” I started asking myself, “What can I do with where I am?”That question gives you somewhere to go.You may not be where you want to be today, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay there.
Your Starting Point Doesn’t Determine Your Destination
When you’re rebuilding your life, you have to accept your starting point without allowing it to become an excuse.That’s something I’ve had to practice.My life today didn’t appear overnight. I’m still rebuilding. I’m still learning. I’m still developing myself. I’m still figuring things out and looking for ways to elevate my life.But that’s actually the point.I don’t need to have everything figured out before I move forward.Neither do you.A lot of people get stuck because they think they need the perfect plan before they take action. They want to research everything, understand every possibility, anticipate every problem, and know exactly how everything is going to turn out.I’ve caught myself doing that too.There is nothing wrong with research. Learning is important, and preparation can save you from making unnecessary mistakes. But research can become another form of procrastination when you keep gathering information because you’re afraid to actually begin.Eventually, you have to close the phone, close the laptop, put the book down, and do something.You have to make the phone call.You have to send the email.You have to make the appointment.You have to start the workout.You have to write the first page.You have to take whatever legitimate first step applies to the goal you’re pursuing.You can learn more as you go.That’s something I’ve come to understand about life: action teaches you things that thinking alone never will.
Give Your Goals Some Structure
Taking action doesn’t mean acting without a plan. In fact, I believe having a strategy is extremely important.That’s where SMART goals can help.A goal should be specific enough that you know exactly what you’re trying to accomplish. It should be measurable so you can tell whether you’re actually making progress. It should be achievable, relevant to the life you’re trying to build, and attached to a timeframe.There’s a big difference between saying, “I want to get my life together,” and saying, “Over the next 90 days, I’m going to work on this specific area of my life, take these specific actions each week, and track my progress.”The second one gives you something to work with.I’ve learned that I need to break big goals down into smaller actions. When I look at everything I want to accomplish in my life all at once, it can become overwhelming. But when I ask myself what needs to happen today, the picture becomes much clearer.That’s where action comes in.You don’t have to build the entire future today.You just have to do today’s work.
Don’t Let Overthinking Become Your Prison
After spending so much of my life physically incarcerated, I’ve become very aware of another kind of prison: the one we can create inside our own minds.Overthinking can keep you trapped.You think about doing something, then you think about what could go wrong. You consider another option. Then another. You research somebody else’s approach. You question whether your idea is good enough. You wonder what other people are going to think.Eventually, you’re exhausted from thinking about doing something you still haven’t done.I’ve had to learn to recognize that pattern in myself.Sometimes the answer isn’t more thinking.Sometimes the answer is action.Take the information you have. Make the best decision you can. Start moving. If you discover that something needs to change, adjust your strategy.That’s not failure.That’s part of the process.When I came home, I couldn’t change the fact that 24 years had passed. I couldn’t go back and make different decisions as a young man. What I could control was what I did with the time in front of me.That’s still true today.My freedom means something to me because I understand what it feels like not to have it. I don’t want to waste that freedom sitting around waiting for the perfect circumstances.I want to use it.
Action Builds Confidence
Here’s another thing I’ve discovered: confidence often comes after action, not before it.People sometimes say, “I need to feel more confident before I do this.”But how are you going to become confident at something you’ve never attempted?You take the step.You struggle.You learn.You make adjustments.You accomplish something small.Then you realize, “I actually did that.”The next step becomes a little easier.That’s how confidence can develop naturally.You don’t have to convince yourself that you’re extraordinary. You simply have to start proving to yourself that you can keep promises you make to yourself.If you say you’re going to work out four days this week, do it.If you say you’re going to spend an hour working toward your goal, do it.If you say you’re going to stop wasting time on something that isn’t helping you, make the change.Every time you follow through, you’re building evidence that you can trust yourself.And that matters.
Focus on Elevating Your Own Life
I’ve also learned that personal growth becomes much easier when you stop worrying so much about what everyone else is doing.Someone else’s success doesn’t prevent you from succeeding.Someone else’s progress doesn’t make yours less valuable.Someone having more money doesn’t mean your financial progress doesn’t matter.Someone having a better body doesn’t mean your fitness progress doesn’t matter.Someone having a successful business doesn’t mean there’s no room for you to build something meaningful.You have to focus on your own lane.Look at your circumstances honestly. Look at what you have. Look at what you don’t have. Then ask yourself what you can do to improve your position.Maybe it’s learning a skill.Maybe it’s improving your discipline.Maybe it’s getting your finances organized.Maybe it’s taking better care of your body.Maybe it’s improving your relationships.Maybe it’s working toward a career.Maybe it’s finally pursuing something you’ve been talking about for years.Whatever it is, stop waiting for your life to become perfect before you begin improving it.Start where you are.
Freedom Means Something Different to Me Now
For me, freedom isn’t just being outside of prison.Freedom means having the opportunity to make decisions about my life and accepting responsibility for what those decisions produce.After losing 24 years, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life making excuses for why I can’t move forward.I’ve already learned what happens when poor decisions accumulate.Now I want to see what happens when good decisions accumulate.That’s what I’m working on.One decision at a time.One goal at a time.One day at a time.I don’t expect perfection from myself. I’m not finished becoming the man I want to be. But I am committed to continuing the process.That’s what The Apex Journey is really about for me.It’s not about pretending I have everything figured out. It’s about acknowledging where I’ve been, accepting responsibility for where I am, and continuing to work toward where I want to go.And that’s something anybody can do.You don’t need my story to understand that.Maybe you’ve lost five years.Maybe you’ve lost ten.Maybe you’ve made mistakes that you’re ashamed of.Maybe you’re starting over financially.Maybe you’re rebuilding your relationships.Maybe you’re simply tired of knowing you’re capable of more while continuing to put off doing something about it.Whatever your situation is, don’t spend another year comparing yourself to somebody else or waiting until you feel ready.Figure out what matters to you.Create a realistic plan.Break it into manageable steps.Set some SMART goals.Stop researching when it’s time to act.And then take the first step.It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t even have to be big.It just has to move you forward.Because I’ve learned something after 24 years of having my freedom taken away: when you have the ability to choose what you do with your time, that choice is incredibly valuable.I don’t want to waste mine.And I don’t want you to waste yours either.So whatever you’ve been putting off, whatever you’ve been overthinking, whatever you’ve been telling yourself you’ll start tomorrow, take a serious look at it today.Then do something about it.Your life doesn’t have to change all at once. You just have to stop postponing the actions that can change it.
theapexjourney 